New Kid on the Block
by extremebabymakeover
Summary: There's a new criminal in Gotham - well, sort-of. No one knows what to call this person, and The Joker isn't sure whether he likes them or not. Implied Joker/Batman.


To make sure your picture of this story is accurate - I'm using The Killing Joke's version of The Joker, not Heath's. As I usually do, because it's my favourite version.

- X -

* * *

He would start by focusing on his breathing.

In, out, in, out, in-he could never finish without bursting into a fit of laughter, so he'd have to start all over again.

Shaking his head and licking his bottom lip, he fumbled around in the hard bed, making out shapes from the stains in the ceiling. His eyes would trail down the crack in the wall, further, further, before he found himself looking at his feet. he'd wiggle his toes, giggle, then start all over again-The breathing, the laughing, the stains, crack, feet, toes, wiggle, giggle, repeat.

The same painfully monotonous midnight routine in Arkham Asylum before falling into a restless slumber where he found himself playing with the Batman once again. Up on a dirty rooftop in the middle of a storm, throwing punches and slipping in puddles and laughing into the dark, foggy skies. Cracking jokes that he never laughed at-or rather, never _let_ himself laugh at-he was so incorruptable that he couldn't even lighten up around him and have a laugh or two. It was always that angry, no-nonsense way about him that both infuriated and excited The Joker.

It was infuriating because it's a well known fact that he's a comedic genius.

It was exciting because he kept him on his toes, thinking up new jokes so that one day, maybe, he'd let down his guard and laugh. Even if he gave me a little smirk, he'd be pleased.

_Come on, Batsy, no ones watching, _he'd tell him, _It'll be our little secret. _

And he meant that.

Actually, no, he didn't mean that. He'd climb all the way to the top of the tallest building in Gotham and declare his victory.

_I made the Batman laugh, I did it, it was me, and I didn't even use any poisonous gas, I swear it! hahEHEHEHAAHAAHA! _

He liked to think that Batman would find that endearing, somehow.

He laughed so loudly that he woke himself up, and was once again staring at the dirty white walls of his room. Instead of snoring, he laughs. You can imagine how that didn't settle well with the inmates around him.

His lip twitched as he traced his tongue over the scars on the insides of his cheeks - he had a habit of gnawing on the inside of his cheeks until blood was drawn - and he started again with the night time routine.

Things were starting to get dull around here. His unpredictable behavior was now very predictable-quite the oxymoron if he could say so himself. So why not shake things around a bit and act "civil"? He found that the calm he feigned scared the nurses more than if he were to whip out a knife and start carving smiles into everyone's faces.

They all saw it as the calm before the storm, and the longer the calm lasted, the more frightened everyone became.

Funny how they go on about "fixing" The Joker, trying hard to make him "sane" again, but when he does just that, they all go batshit crazy. _(Hehaehaha, bat) _

The Joker grunted and swung his feet off the bed, whistling a made-up tune, before peering up at the vent toward the top of the wall.

Since he'd been so civil, the guards convinced staff that he needn't been in a highly monitored room, that he could be moved to one that didn't completely cut him off from the others. They thought it was a bad idea at first, but decided it was only fair, because that's how they treat the other inmates as well.

He grinned madly.

Bad idea, indeed.

He giggled the entire time he made his way through the vents, though trying to avoid making too much noise, and he easily made his way through to get into the "living room" of the Asylum, where all the inmates could just mingle and watch TV or play board games while staff kept an eye on them.

He hadn't watched TV in a while - when The Joker was in the Asylum, Batman went back into the shadows for prolonged periods of time, so he had no reason to watch the news. But this was an especially boring night, and he figured that wasting away in front of the TV sounded like a good idea.

As quietly as he could manage, he slipped out of the vent and into the room, sighing and stretching out, before heading to the TV and flipping it on.

There was the usual bullshit - The reporters eye-fucking eachother while they presented stories, a few of them obviously ready to whip out a gun and kill everyone in the room, the feigned empathy, blah blah blah. He always liked to create background stories to these people, making up behind-the-scenes drama in their workplace, and it managed to keep him entertained. He was a little rusty on the fake details of their pathetic lives, and he tried hard to recall what stories he made up. But then - _then_ - something caught his eye.

Something _interesting._

Very _very_ interesting.

His tongue darted excitedly over his red stained lips as he leaned in closer to the screen, a crazed smile creeping up on his face.

_"...a series of bizarre crimes that have been occurring throughout Gotham, confusing and leaving us all dumbfounded... managed to take a shop and flip everything in the room upside-down without anything stolen or damaged...icecream shops being a big target...can finally confirm that these strange happenings are being traced to the mind of one person...identity not yet discovered...we'll continue to keep you updated..."_

The Joker couldn't help but burst into a fit out loud, obnoxious laughter as he listened to the news. He fell out of his chair, rolling around and kicking his feet, laughing so loudly it sounded reminiscent to screaming.

The staff heard the laughter and froze up, immediately recognizing the sound, and rushed to figure out where it was coming from.

It wasn't soon before a group of guards grabbed him from the ground, relieved that he hadn't done something terrible, and began carrying him back to his room.

He never stopped laughing to acknowledge them, and willingly let them drag him away.

The Joker had seen all that he had to see.

There was a new guy, and it excited him! Almost more than it excited him to fight the Bats, which really, _really_ said something.

Gotham was _fun_ again! And he wanted _in_ on that fun.

It was time to _break out._

* * *

If you read this when it was a part of another fic - sorry, that shit was going nowhere.

If you're new, hello! Come inside, have some tea, sit down, make yourself at home, etc etc.

Read and review!

-Lee


End file.
